He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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