Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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