i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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