My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
