at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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