You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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