Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
