Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
