Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
