if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
