My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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