he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We had sex on a dog bed..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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