wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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