omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize