On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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