Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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