Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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