Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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