how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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