So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There r osticjed everywhere
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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