I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you win again, gameday.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
