he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
