Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
