What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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