you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize