dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
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I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
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Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS