Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock

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(816): View more from Missouri

She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"

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(585): View more from New York

My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.

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(971): View more from Oregon

the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die

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(813): View more from Florida

were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.

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(847): View more from Illinois

So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.

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(347): View more from New York

Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?

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