Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?

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  (323): I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes? http://tfl.nu/rey6
  Replies (16) Good night (1222) Bad night (5294)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'

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  (360): Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving' http://tfl.nu/j3uq
  Replies (25) Good night (3848) Bad night (1260)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.

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  (484): You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you. http://tfl.nu/o9a4
  Replies (3) Good night (1383) Bad night (3071)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.

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  (802): She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave. http://tfl.nu/huhd
  Replies (7) Good night (3516) Bad night (952)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...

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  (830): i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone... http://tfl.nu/i2ws
  Replies (13) Good night (2572) Bad night (888)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis

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  (609): I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis http://tfl.nu/47d5
  Replies (5) Good night (2581) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (835): View more from Pennsylvania

  The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving

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  (835): The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving http://tfl.nu/ks9z
  Replies (7) Good night (2367) Bad night (763)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.

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  (330): It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop. http://tfl.nu/5ysk
  Replies (11) Good night (731) Bad night (1614)
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  (+79): View more from

  You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win

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  (+79): You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win http://tfl.nu/jmv2
  Replies (4) Good night (1800) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.

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  (208): If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas. http://tfl.nu/e1hv
  Replies (4) Good night (1452) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...

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  (407): I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow... http://tfl.nu/1e3j
  Replies (8) Good night (3361) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.

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  (801): Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted. http://tfl.nu/qkeh
  Replies (1) Good night (1100) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.

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  (714): I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart. http://tfl.nu/nyq8
  Replies (10) Good night (869) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall

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  (708): At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall http://tfl.nu/xpwv
  Replies (5) Good night (376) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Can you bring me the toilet please

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  (802): Can you bring me the toilet please http://tfl.nu/af5u
  Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (428)

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