my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
