Texts From Last Night

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  (386): View more from Florida

  No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.

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  (386): No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable. http://tfl.nu/h3dd
  Replies (13) Good night (575) Bad night (1960)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Whoa Z and x make the same sound

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  (717): Whoa Z and x make the same sound http://tfl.nu/syb7
  Replies (30) Good night (3497) Bad night (694)
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  (323): View more from California

  question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line

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  (323): question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line http://tfl.nu/5bhb
  Replies (38) Good night (2735) Bad night (980)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk

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  (845): Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk http://tfl.nu/am6s
  Replies (40) Good night (5223) Bad night (1087)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.

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  (551): Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again. http://tfl.nu/vdhg
  Replies (51) Good night (916) Bad night (4469)
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  (914): View more from New York

  im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl

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  (914): im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl http://tfl.nu/i1d7
  Replies (15) Good night (922) Bad night (5037)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.

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  (253): I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight. http://tfl.nu/4pnr
  Replies (12) Good night (3359) Bad night (932)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.

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  (336): He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one. http://tfl.nu/csjr
  Replies (10) Good night (1268) Bad night (4845)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.

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  (808): No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager. http://tfl.nu/g78j
  Replies (7) Good night (1687) Bad night (886)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.

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  (541): I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall. http://tfl.nu/64r1
  Replies (7) Good night (4306) Bad night (730)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.

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  (520): I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night. http://tfl.nu/u2a7
  Replies (5) Good night (1515) Bad night (791)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.

  (713): View more from Texas

  Yeah you should have just let that thought go.

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  (512): He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay. (713): Yeah you should have just let that thought go. http://tfl.nu/ru9t
  Replies (4) Good night (1097) Bad night (693)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.

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  (617): like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds. http://tfl.nu/7cy7
  Replies (2) Good night (1079) Bad night (501)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES

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  (815): THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES http://tfl.nu/zxql
  Replies (7) Good night (812) Bad night (750)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me

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  (678): I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me http://tfl.nu/qbi9
  Replies (4) Good night (600) Bad night (326)

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