I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
even my farts smell like vagina
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?