I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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