Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.

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  (647): Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream. http://tfl.nu/6zy9
  Replies (1) Good night (1099) Bad night (1414)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

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  (724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am. http://tfl.nu/33o2
  Replies (61) Good night (31156) Bad night (1525)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  nutella sex= disaster

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  (708): nutella sex= disaster http://tfl.nu/zj5e
  Replies (26) Good night (1042) Bad night (5418)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.

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  (914): i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed. http://tfl.nu/dx0g
  Replies (29) Good night (621) Bad night (5952)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?

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  (651): How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out? http://tfl.nu/x0y6
  Replies (22) Good night (5184) Bad night (1673)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.

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  (317): I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it. http://tfl.nu/klgn
  Replies (8) Good night (6242) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.

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  (801): Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with. http://tfl.nu/sran
  Replies (13) Good night (2222) Bad night (3275)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.

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  (860): He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter. http://tfl.nu/21c2
  Replies (18) Good night (5151) Bad night (1483)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.

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  (585): Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle. http://tfl.nu/a803
  Replies (3) Good night (958) Bad night (506)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.

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  (843): Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho. http://tfl.nu/pobq
  Replies (9) Good night (1700) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!

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  (410): She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success! http://tfl.nu/k1zi
  Replies (10) Good night (1793) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.

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  (816): Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg. http://tfl.nu/r8tk
  Replies (2) Good night (1176) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.

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  (601): The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know. (615): My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens. http://tfl.nu/91vw
  Replies (10) Good night (1882) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.

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  (813): The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room. http://tfl.nu/fw34
  Replies (19) Good night (398) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.

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  (505): I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that. http://tfl.nu/93tp
  Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (378)

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