Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
