I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize