Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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