I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
