Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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