I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
