so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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