so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i've created a new STD.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
