Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
