Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
