Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
