There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
