I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
