mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
