i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
