i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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