Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
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coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
is it fun? or sober?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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