Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
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i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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