IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
