we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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