My room smells like vodka and shame
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize