Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
