my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
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He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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