I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We left an ass print on the piano.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
