i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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