Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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