I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Is it because I queefed?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
