anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize