so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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