I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
