if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize