I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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