I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
