Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
